These Are The Days Of Our Lives
by BuffyAngel68
Summary: More vignettes to keep you going until I can get the third and final part of the series going....
1. Default Chapter

Title: .....These Are the Days of Our Lives  
  
Author: BuffyAngel68  
  
e-mail: buffyangel68yahoo.com This is my only e-mail now. Use it wisely and often, unless you're intent on flaming me. Then you know what you can do with your so–called thoughts.  
  
Rating: Light R at the very most (I intend on progressing Darien and Bobby's physical relationship a bit here and much more fully through the last section of the series. If you're uncomfortable, you'll know well in advance which chapters to skip. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!)  
  
Summary: A few more vignettes to hold you over until I start the last section of what was supposed to be a short story and has turned into the longest thing (excluding original work) that I've ever written. BTW: I've decided on an overall name for this epic piece finally. I'm calling it the "Connections" series, since that's really what the whole thing's about; finding the courage to make connections, coming to believe that the ones you've made are right and will last and leaning on your deepest connections when everything falls apart. Makes sense, huh? Sure it does. Think about it for a while.... Oh, and read on.  
  
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# 1:  
  
"Go on. Take her for a minute."  
  
"Darien... I'm not good with babies. They really don't like me. We don't.... communicate." Danny protested, leaning away from Bobbi slightly.  
  
"Hey, I gotta go, an' I gotta go now. She doesn't breathe fire an' we haven't started her on hand to hand combat training yet. Just hold her for five minutes. Please?"  
  
Finally, Danny grimaced and surrendered, holding out his hands. Darien transferred his daughter into their new partner's care and tore off toward the men's room. To Danny's surprise, the baby didn't immediately start crying as most did when he attempted to hold them. Instead she studied him carefully, then grinned and touched his face gently.  
  
"Does that mean I'm okay with you?" he asked, chuckling.  
  
When a wavery, faded image of an upraised thumb appeared in his mind, Danny's eyes opened wide and he gripped the baby in his arms tighter, fearing he might drop her when the shock set in and he passed out. Darien had casually mentioned that his daughter could perform this amazing feat with him, but had neglected to pass along that it worked with anyone else.  
  
"Whoa. Okay... can you do that again, girlfriend?"  
  
This time the images were a bit clearer, and the stunned rookie agent thought out loud while he put the puzzle together.  
  
"Me standing in front of your dads.... a gun.... Superman.... Oh! I get it! That is so cool! You're asking if I'm going to protect your dads. Of course I am. I'll be there anytime they need me, sweetheart."  
  
Bobbi frowned and projected a slightly stronger picture of an adhesive label, reading only MY NAME IS....  
  
"Right. No more cutesy names 'till we really know each other. It's Bobbi or Roberta."  
  
He received another bright-as-sunshine smile and an approving pat on the cheek in response. Just then, Darien returned to rescue his new colleague, or so he thought until he saw the two together.  
  
"See? I told ya. She loves pretty much everybody. And you said you couldn't communicate with kids." Darien chided Danny, grinning as he accepted Roberta back.  
  
"Uh... I was wrong. In this case I was so wrong."  
  
Darien's expression turned serious.  
  
"You've got somethin' to tell me, don't you?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. I really do...."  
  
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	2. Chapter 2

# 2  
  
"No. I did it after the wedding an' that was it. I said I'd never get talked into it again an' I meant it. Besides, you know how I feel about... that."  
  
"Yeah, right. I know you want to.... just this once. We're all by ourselves, kid. C'mon...."  
  
"I said no! A gun to my head couldn't make me go there again. Forget it!"  
  
"Do you really need to be reminded about what happened in bed that night, huh?"  
  
"Bobby.... you swore you'd never mention that...."  
  
"Hey, it was your choice."  
  
"Damn it, Hobbes..."  
  
"You picked Faith Hill for your "how I really feel" song. You opened the can a'worms....."  
  
"Aarrrgh..."  
  
"Big ol', country-music-singin' worms." Bobby pressed, producing the most evil grin he possibly could.  
  
"I keep tellin' you she's a cross-over artist!"  
  
"Yeah, but she started in country, didn't she? Now, c'mon.... you gotta."  
  
"Noooo..."  
  
"Yes. Get your ass over here.... and dance with me."  
  
"But it's not even a slow song..... Ah crap.... okay, okay."  
  
Reluctantly, grudgingly, Darien plodded to where Bobby waited. The smaller man slid his hands around his husband's waist and tugged him closer before starting the CD with the stereo remote and tucking the device away in a pocket. As the song began, Bobby's hands moved gradually lower. Darien sucked in a surprised breath then relaxed, gazing into Bobby's eyes as he draped his hands around the other man's neck and laced his fingers. It took a moment for him to catch up, but soon the two were moving in rhythm.  
  
... and if you ain't noticed, the kids are fast asleep and you're One Hot Mama, You turn me on, let's turn it up and turn this place into a sauna. You're One Hot Mama, Whadda you say babe, you wanna?  
  
The lyrics made Darien laugh, lean in and murmur in Bobby's ear.  
  
"I'm still not crazy about you callin' me that name you know."  
  
"Yeah, but you don't bitch about it so much anymore."  
  
"Mama.... That's what Bobbi calls me. It's not so bad, I guess."  
  
.... and you worry about your hips, and you worry about your age, meanwhile I'm tryin' to catch the breath you take away.....  
  
"Hips? You tryin' to tell me somethin', Hobbes?"  
  
"That ain't the message I was pushin'....." Bobby chuckled.  
  
"Oh yeah? So what is the message, huh? Tell me...."  
  
Bobby groaned very quietly. Darien's "magic words" seemed to have more and more of an impact on his husband as the months passed. The younger man knew this perfectly well, but, to his credit, took advantage of his knowledge only rarely.  
  
"You turn me on.....hot mama.... the part about takin' my breath away...."  
  
"Oh. Message received." Darien responded, dropping his face down and capturing Bobby's lips in a powerful, unexpected kiss that caused the hands caressing his ass to clutch briefly. Minutes later, the two finally pulled apart, expelling warm, moist breath onto each other's flushed faces.  
  
"Damn.... I didn't mean it... literally...."  
  
"Are you complaining?"  
  
"No way.... never...."  
  
"Didn't think so. Bert...."  
  
"Yeah?" Bobby replied weakly, knowing what question was coming and ashamed that it terrified him.  
  
"It's not gonna be much longer is it? Until we go to bed.... and don't get any sleep."  
  
"I want that, Ari..... I want you. It's just.... I...."  
  
"I know. It scares me too. I'm ready to move on from kisses, but first.... we need to have a couch talk. There's stuff... about the past.... my past...."  
  
"Ari, no. You don't have to tell me any a'that. Anything that happened while you were locked up...."  
  
"This isn't about prison. Not exactly, anyway.... it's hard to explain."  
  
"You should sort through it with Cheryl first."  
  
"You don't mind?"  
  
"No way. Do what you need to. Long as you come home to me."  
  
"Always. Always, baby...."  
  
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	3. Chapter 3

# 3  
  
"Hey! Bobbi.... cut it out! Ahhh!" Darien mock-complained, flinching away and protecting his eyes from the water and bubbles flying his way. His daughter giggled, blew him an unintentional raspberry and slapped her hands down in her bath again, splattering her mother.  
  
"You can't say you weren't warned, partner." Bobby smirked, passing his husband a hand towel. "She loves water."  
  
"Yeah... she loves it so much she wants to share it with everybody else." Darien commented wryly as he mopped his face and shirt. "Okay, tidal-wave- Roberta... time to get out. Her towel's on the sink, Bert...." Darien said, rising from his knees. Carefully lifting Bobbi out of the warm water, he firmly held his dripping, squirming little girl over the tub until her dad could get her special hooded towel wrapped around her and her head covered. Bobby then drew his baby into his arms. Talking softly to her, he followed Darien into the bedroom and laid Bobbi on the changing table, drying and diapering her while his husband chose an outfit for her to sleep in. Once she was dressed, both men settled on the bed and Bobby passed her to Darien. As the younger man gazed lovingly down at her, she began to sporadically communicate a run-down of her day from her point of view.  
  
"So? What's she got to say tonight?"  
  
"Not much. She wasn't too happy about the dog that gave her a sniff while Claire was walkin' her in the stroller."  
  
"He didn't scare her, did he?"  
  
"Nah. She just thought it was rude. Says he shoulda.... wait. He shoulda asked first? There something you're not tellin' me, baby girl?" he asked, giving her a skeptical look. Roberta merely grinned at him and blinked sleepily. Hobbes laughed.  
  
"Oh.... boy. One more thing to add to the "wait 'till she can talk" list. Ya know.. that reminds me. I was thinkin' the other night. What if she never does?"  
  
"Talk? Of course she's gonna talk, Bobby. All babies talk."  
  
"Not all babies are telepathic, love. She don't exactly have incentive to learn to use her voice, now does she?"  
  
Darien looked mildly stricken for a moment, but his smile returned.  
  
"We don't have to think about that for a while yet. When it comes that time, we'll do what we need to do, but.... not yet, okay? she's growin' up fast enough. Let's not push it."  
  
"I know, Ari. It was just a thought. I'm sorry for scarin' you."  
  
"You didn't. I've been thinkin' about it too... along with other things." He murmured, softly stroking Bobbi's hair and face.  
  
"Darien, don't. It'll be okay...."  
  
"Like school, for instance. Where are we gonna find one for a kid that can do what she can? The invisibility, the telepathy, probably other stuff too.... it's not like we can send her to P.S. 118."  
  
Grinning, Bobby pushed a stray lock of hair away from his husband's brow and caught Darien's eyes.  
  
"Ari, stop. She's not goin' to kindergarten tomorrow. We've got a few years to figure this stuff out."  
  
"Yeah.... yeah, I know. It's just.... so hard. I never realized what my dad went through after my mom was gone. Kids... they sneeze and every disaster the world has ever known runs through your head in about five seconds. We're her mom an' dad, Bert. We have to protect her..."  
  
"We will, baby. No matter what. Thing is... look at Bobbi. I guarantee this beautiful, happy little girl ain't thinkin' five years ahead. We gotta take our cue from her. When we get to the fork in the road we'll decide which way to go. Until then.... we need to chill. You know she picks up on how we feel, not just what we think."  
  
"You're right. Right now she's still little, but it won't last long. We need to enjoy this time with her before it's gone." Darien added, rising slowly and carrying his sleeping child to her crib. As she woke slightly then settled back down, both her parents watched her with expressions of awe and love on their weary faces then moved off to get ready for bed themselves.  
  
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	4. Chapter 4

# 4  
  
"Darien. I told you that half my practice is working with inmates. You can't shock me."  
  
"This didn't happen in prison."  
  
"When?"  
  
"Just before I got arrested the last time. It.. it's about Liz. First thing you gotta know is I don't like my body much. Never have."  
  
"Can you tell me why?"  
  
"I don't know.... I'm skinny, too tall, I don't tan. That's just for starters. Anyway, when we.... had sex, I always got in bed first, so I could be under the covers before she caught a glimpse of me and I always made sure it was dark. The last time.... it was going good, like always and suddenly someone flips the switch by the door and the room lights up. I look around and see this huge guy standin' there. He says... something. I couldn't hear it, but Liz grins like Nicholson in "The Shining" and before I know what's goin' on she pulls the sheet off me."  
  
"She set you up."  
  
".... so she could show me off, yeah. He got this... disgusted, angry look and started saying some really nasty stuff about... why in hell did she ever think he'd wanna get with something that looked like me, never mind try and sell it. All I could think was to protect myself. While they were fighting I grabbed what clothes I could find and ran. I stopped at some point to get dressed and... I tried to keep going, but I couldn't. I just...."  
  
"Just what?"  
  
"I can't. It's humiliating..."  
  
"You're safe here, you know that. No judgment, no put downs. Go ahead. What kept you from moving on?"  
  
"I guess the shock wore off and what the guy said finally hit me. I stumbled into an alley, dropped on my knees... and I puked. It went on for so long I was sure I'd be needing an ambulance, but... it finally stopped. I was so weak I stayed right there for most of an hour. Then I got up, with the help of the wall, and I ran some more. A few weeks later I was convicted of murder. You pretty much know the rest."  
  
"Wow. That sounds horrible. How did you deal with it?"  
  
"I didn't. That's kind of the point. Bobby and I... we've talked and we both agree it won't be a whole lot longer before physical love catches up with our emotions, but if... put it this way. I still get in bed first."  
  
"You don't like your body so you're afraid he won't either."  
  
"Bingo."  
  
Cheryl looked at him critically, then reached behind her and picked up his file. Opening it to the medical history page she scanned it quickly. She'd only recently received authorization to see the material and intended to read it in depth at some point, but for the moment she was looking for specific things; things she would instantly recognize if she saw them. She breathed a quiet sigh of relief when what she sought wasn't there. "What's that look for?"  
  
"Not seeing signs of prior bulimic or anorexic episodes in your records." She explained as she replaced the folder on her desk.  
  
Darien looked stunned.  
  
"Why.... why would you be looking for those in my past?"  
  
"Both illnesses have a lot to do with body image. I just wanted to reassure myself. It sounded like you felt this way long before the incident with Liz."  
  
"Yeah. I never thought... so if I don't change how I think, I could get sick?"  
  
"It's a slim-to-none possibility. I'd say no. That doesn't mean we don't have to work on this. Stand up."  
  
Reluctantly Darien obeyed, suddenly anxious about what she might ask him to do. She relieved some of his anxiety when she led him over to the corner and slid back a well concealed panel in the wall to reveal a full-length mirror.  
  
"Okay.... now what?"  
  
"Now we start boosting your body image, a little at a time."  
  
Darien gazed at her uncertainly.  
  
"Yay?" he responded with a decided lack of enthusiasm.  
  
"Do you want a satisfying physical relationship with your husband?"  
  
"More every minute of every day."  
  
"Then look at you, not me...." she told him, firmly grasping his chin and turning his face back to the mirror, "... and let's get to work."  
  
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	5. 5

# 5

For the fifth time in half an hour, Danny gazed quickly around him, wanting to be sure noone was around, then returned his eyes to the glass before him and the woman who lived behind it. Having read the incident report covering what she'd done to Claire and Bobbi, he felt he was fully aware of the danger Alex represented, but despite the knowledge, his fascination with her refused to wane. Over the weeks it had, in fact, grown stronger.

At first, he'd restricted himself to one visit a week, and that only for a few minutes. Now, however, he found himself here three, sometimes four days in a row, skipping lunch to spend the entire hour in front of her ersatz jail cell. He simply couldn't accept that there was no hope for her recovery. Agent Hobbes still insisted on referring to her only in animalistic terms, when he spoke of her at all, Agent Fawkes' sorrow and fear kept him perpetually silent on the subject and the Official had forbidden him to bring up her name. Danny accepted their attitudes and let it go; as the victims they had every right to their pain, but as he watched Alex pace the perimeter of her cage, he realized she'd been victimized as brutally as they had.

The first few times he'd snuck down to visit her, Alex had ignored him utterly, but very slowly, she worked her way up from stealing swift glances at him, to approaching the window and giving Danny as astute an appraisal as he was giving her. The glittering intelligence in her eyes had unnerved him initially, but he grew used to it and had even gotten bold enough to show her a bit of sign language, just out of curiosity. When she proved able to sign as fluently as he could, they began to have silent conversations. He knew full well that if his new teammates discovered what he was doing, he would end up neck deep in muck and recriminations, but he simply couldn't stop.

Over the past few weeks, Danny had learned things about Alex that he was certain she had never told anyone else. If the rest only understood where the tortured woman had come from, they would know why she had ended up in a padded box and would begin to treat her instead of shunning her. No matter what crimes she'd committed, she remained a human being and the closer they became, the more of her humanity she revealed. Though he hadn't told her yet, he was gradually putting together a plan for her recuperation and eventual release. He knew it would be near impossible to sell to the others, never mind to implement, but he was determined to see it happen.

Glancing at his watch, he was shocked to find he had only five minutes to make it back upstairs for afternoon briefing.

I have to go. They'll come looking for me if I don't show my face soon.

Tomorrow?

I can't. I promised to have lunch with the guys.

Alex scowled and backed off, signing furiously.

I open up to you and you're still hanging around with those bastards? You know what they did to me! You promised me you were on my side!

I am, you know that, but they're my partners and my friends, Lexy. I wish you could understand.....

Forget it! Don't bother coming down here again! I don't want to see your lying face!

Lexy....

Realizing he was about to be late, Danny let the argument drop, signed a regretful goodbye to Alex's stiff back and ran for the elevator.


	6. 6

# 6

"I'm sorry, Mrs. ...."

"Whitson. Vivian Whitson."

"Of course. I'm sorry, Mrs. Whitson, but there's just no evidence of any problem here...."

"No evidence?! My former husband is raising a child with his male partner; a child, I might add, that he has no reasonable explanation for. Who knows where she might have come from? There could be parents somewhere crying for their lost little girl...."

"Ma'mm, I can assure you that isn't the case. When you called me, I looked up the birth certificate and all the relevant paperwork for the infant and the deceased mother. Everything seems to be in perfect order..."

"Seems? You're going to let this go because it seems alright? Robert told me he and his partner were getting married for Lord's sake!"

The dark haired man on the other side of the desk hesitated then smiled uncertainly and responded in soothing tones.

"I'm sure you misunderstood. Same-sex marriage isn't legal in California yet."

"Yet? You're saying it will be?"

"The latest prediction is that within five years, yes, it absolutely will be. At this point all they could do is participate in a commitment ceremony, which is perfectly within the law and within their rights. If that's what your husband and his partner have done or intend to do... I can't interfere."

Vivian's face grew red and she sputtered her angry reply.

"But... but the man's a raving paranoid! You didn't see the way he threw me out of his house! You can't let someone like that raise an innocent child!"

"Does he take medication for his condition?"

"Of course, but not consistently."

"Are you basing this on present observation or on past behavior?"

Vivian paused, but answered truthfully.

"On the past, of course. We've been separated for several years and see each other only rarely, but..."

"Then there's nothing to be done. As I said, the situation appears to be ideal for the child and you have no proof that she's in imminent danger. I'm sorry."

"You don't know the situation! At least tell me you'll send someone to the apartment to look it over!"

The young man closed his eyes briefly. She had asked the one thing he'd prayed she wouldn't think of.

"If it will make you feel better Mrs. Whitson... I can do that."

"It won't, but it's a first step at least. I won't be satisfied until that poor baby girl is safe." Vivian spat, rising to her feet and stalking out of the small DCF office. The man behind the desk sighed in relief, rubbed his face with one hand and muttered a few tense words.

"I try to head her off and she finds a way around me. The damn woman's more persistent than the tide. I don't know how much longer I can keep her busy..."

He looked up when a colleague called his nick-name from the doorway.

"Hey, J, you feel like a drink to celebrate the end of a long day and the departure of Mrs. Whitson, the human torture chamber?"

"I absolutely do."


	7. 7

# 7

"I'm worthy, I'm loved, I'm accepted and I won't be betrayed again. I'm worthy, I'm loved, I'm accepted and I won't be betrayed again. I'm worthy, I'm loved, I'm accepted..."

Darien's litany ground to a halt as Bobby wrapped his arms around him from behind.

"What are you doin' ?" he asked, grinning lightly and finding his husband's eyes in the bathroom mirror.

"Nothing. Just... something Cheryl taught me. She's workin' on my self-esteem now."

"I didn't know it needed any help." Bobby responded, growing serious.

"Yeah, well.... remember I said I had somethin' to tell you.... somethin' you had to know before we can...."

"Yeah, I remember. Go on."

Slowly, brokenly, Darien related the Liz story much as he had to Cheryl. He wanted to stop when he realized tears were welling in Bobby's eyes, but he forced himself to finish. "Damn... baby, I'm so sorry. I ever find that bitch there won't be enough left for a street mutt to make a chew-toy out of...."

"No! Don't go there, okay?" Darien exclaimed suddenly, turning in Bobby's arms. "It wasn't all her. I let her do it, Bert. I let her turn me into a... a thief. I wanted somebody, anybody to want me.... and I wanted that so bad I woulda done whatever she asked."

"Up 'till that night, huh?"

Darien flushed guiltily.

"Even after. I... I guess the closest thing to compare it to is a woman who gets beat up an' knocked around an' still goes back. I didn't have anything else.... anywhere else to be. She was all I knew...."

"Did she ever try to bring that creep around again?"

"No.... she was so pissed at me, though. Said.... said I was a coward an' I'd cheated her outta serious money. It wasn't even three weeks later I got busted and locked up for killin' that guard."

Revelation struck Bobby like a fist and he gazed up at his husband with pain filled eyes.

"God... the bitch let you take the fall to punish you? How sick can one person be..."

"Maybe.... she knew how much I hated prison... how much it scared me.... look, can we call this done now? Thinkin' about those days makes me feel like shit... an' I don't ever wanna feel that way when you're holdin' me."

"Shhh... it's okay. Just.... why'd you decide to tell me?"

"We're headed for somethin' deeper, Bert, we both know that. Me feelin' so lousy about my body.... it could get in the way. If I get shy or if I pull away... I needed you to understand it's not about you."

"I know it ain't, Ari. I know that...."

Turning Darien around again, Bobby moved to stand beside him. "What was that that... that thing you were sayin' before?"

"Cheryl called it an affirmation. If you tell yourself good things, an' you've got somebody around to back it up, with enough time you can make yourself believe the good things are true."

"Yeah? Pretty cool. Teach me what to say."

"You sure?"

"Absotively, posolutely. Go on. You start."

"Okay. I'm worthy..."

"I'm worthy."

"I'm loved...."


	8. 8

# 8

"She can do what?" Claire shouted. "Why haven't you told me anything about this? I've seen her four or five times in the last two weeks and you never said a word!"

"We weren't sure if it was a fluke or not. I mean.... who knows, right?" Bobby rationalized.

"Fine, but I'm not just her Godmother, I'm her pediatrician. I need to be kept abreast of her abilities and how they're progressing. If something were to go wrong and you hadn't kept me in the loop...."

"Okay, okay. we get it, Claire. From now on, we'll call you the minute anything changes, alright?" Darien reassured the frantic blonde.

"I should hope so." Claire told them, next addressing herself to the smiling little girl in her arms. "Now, darling. Do you feel like showing me this little adjustment to your talent, hmmm?"

A moment later, a clear image of Bobbi holding her arms open appeared in Claire's mind. It was followed by a heart and an image of the doctor herself. Claire immediately teared up and hugged Bobbi close.

"I love you too, little one. More than you'll ever know."

"Lemme guess. She's forgiven you for all the stuff you and I went through while I was fightin' off the QSM?" Darien asked.

"Apparently. This is amazing. She figured out how to do this all on her own?"

"So she says. She knew all along it should've been possible, it just took her some time to perfect it."

Bobby's eyes opened wide.

"Yeah! Remember that time in Betsy's office? You said the kid was frustrated 'cause she wanted to get through and couldn't."

"That's right. I do remember now.... What?" Darien said, in response to a sudden laugh from Claire.

"She's showing me a jar of jelly and a bowl of raw green beans."

"Ewww. So she wants...."

"Candy. I gave her a sugar-free jellybean a few days ago and she apparently liked it." Claire explained, digging into a jar and coming out with two of the small treats.

"Ohhhh. I get it now. Good deal on the sugar-free. Maybe we can keep her from ever cravin' the real stuff."

"Yes, that would be beneficial to her stomach and her future teeth. Alright, sweetie. Here's your prize for being so smart." She announced as she popped the candy into the baby's open mouth. Her scientist's brain kicking into gear, Claire decided to try something, even though she wasn't sure it would work. After a moment of thought, she first clearly visualized a man chewing, then the universal symbol for no over that image, then a cube of ice melting. Bobbi's face lit up and she laughed gleefully, sending Claire back the same final image to show that she understood. Claire was dumbfounded.

"What? What is it? Is something wrong?"

"Oh no. Not at all. Bobby, come here for a moment." Drawing him close, she whispered in his ear. He frowned, but acceded to her request.

"Okay. It won't work, but... okay."

"Do it more than once so she gets the idea, but don't push too hard."

"Right."

A minute or so later, he held out his hand to his daughter palm up. To his shock, she clapped hers on top of it, just as he'd shown in the picture he'd tried to send. Claire squealed with joy.

"I was right! She can receive from someone other than Darien! This is fantastic!"

When she realized both men suddenly looked somber instead of ecstatic, she sobered and questioned them. "Really, this is wonderful news. It means her telepathic abilities are growing and she's learning to control them."

"Yeah. There's somethin' we were discussin' the other night.... what if she doesn't talk?"

"There are techniques to encourage speech. I've been studying all the books I can get my hands on. I'll be ready when the three of you are. That isn't all, is it? Darien?"

"I love that she can do all this stuff. I mean, it can't ever make her more special to me than she is now, but... I think it's great. Thing is, it makes her a target too. It also makes more valuable to the fat man. You're not tellin' him about her are you, Claire? I know you wouldn't, but he can put some pretty heavy pressure on when he wants to..."

"No, of course I'm not! I will admit his attitude has shifted quite a bit in the right direction, but I still wouldn't trust the man as far as I could throw a Sumo wrestler."

"And he can't get at your records or your notes or anything?"

"Not since Alex got a hold of your pregnancy diary. The really vital papers and CD's I keep at home now. They're safe and so is your daughter."

"Thank God. I mean, I never doubted you, not really..."

"It's alright, Darien. You have to be suspicious and careful. I wouldn't expect anything less."

"Thanks. Um, Claire...."

"Yes?"

"Can I try one a'those jellybeans?"

"Have a handful."

Bobby took his share as well and the foursome all agreed that for sugar-free they weren't half bad.


	9. 9

# 9

"Bobby, c'mon..... It's okay. It's not like I minded...."

"I did! God.... I'm so sorry, babe. I was.... I don't know what I was...."

"Horny as a rhino and a unicorn dirty dancing?" Darien joked faintly, hoping to lighten the mood. Instead the raunchy comment only made his partner blush and shuffle further away.

"Cut it out! You were practically asleep! I didn't have the right to... to put my hands on you."

"Yes, you did, damn it! You're my husband. We didn't say never. We said when we're ready. If you're sayin' you are, that's okay. Come back to bed, please?"

"But... just 'cause I'm ready for.... it don't mean you are. I didn't even ask!"

"Is that what's got you freaked? It's not a big deal, Bobby."

"Not a... how can you act so calm?!"

"Calm? I'm not calm. I was before you started treatin' me like uncharted territory and runnin' for the hills. Now I'm a little ticked off."

"What? I don't understand."

"Obviously. So you didn't ask. So what? The bottom line is, if you had, I would have said yes. I was about to anyway when you bolted."

"What? You.... hold up. What?"

"Bert.... come back to bed and let's talk, okay?" Darien encouraged gently.

Gradually, Bobby moved back and perched on the extreme edge of the mattress, facing away from his husband. Darien threw back the covers to free himself and scooted into position beside Bobby. Slipping briefly into a fair imitation of a Georgia drawl, he made another attempt to lighten the other man's spirit. This time it worked, drawing a chuckle from Hobbes.

"What we have here.... is a failure to communicate."

"God.... yeah, I guess we do."

"Why didn't you talk to me before it got this bad? We both promised we'd speak up when we were ready to go to the next step."

"It ain't that easy. The.... the belief that anybody could want me that way..... Viv took that with her when she left. Tell the truth, she crushed it, threw it in my face an' laughed. I was young when she and I started... younger anyway. Suddenly she was gone... an' all I felt was angry an' hurt.... an' old."

"You think I felt any better after Liz? I idolized that bitch an' to her I was less than the rag you use to wipe the oil off your dipstick. I was a toy; pretty and shiny and interesting.... 'till it breaks or you find something prettier and shinier." Darien reminded him, slipping his arms around Bobby's waist and molding himself to the older man's side. "I want you... I need you so bad it hurts sometimes."

"Hmm. You never said that before. Guess the communications breakdown went both ways, huh?"

"Yeah."

"I... I'm ready to try this if you are. Just.... tell me one thing."

"What?"

"Tell me you're scared..."

"Hell, yes. I'm nervous about what I don't know.... anxious about what you'll think when you finally see my body. Mostly I'm terrified that my words and my touch won't be enough to show you what a strong, beautiful man you are."

"Hey, yeah. The body image thing. You can't be over that yet. It's too soon...."

"No, it's not. I know what I'm saying and I know who I'm with, Bert. She's not here. I won't let her be anymore."

"Ari...."

"Shhh. Like I said... it's okay. Lay back down. We'll just... let it happen." Darien told him, shifting backwards toward his side of the bed. "C'mon. No plan... no time pressure.... just you an' me, okay?"

Turning, Bobby searched Darien's eyes and found everything he needed. Fear did indeed hover at the edges, but much more clear were his love and an immense, deep, powerful desire. These last two drew Bobby in, giving him the courage to drop back onto his side, facing the man he loved more than life itself and ready for whatever might happen. Knowing he was truly loved, however, didn't increase his knowledge base when it came to the subject at hand.

{Hell, the only dumb question's the one you don't ask....}

"What am I supposed to... how do I..."

"I don't know. Whatever feels good when we're... flyin' solo, we try that on each other, maybe."

"Yeah.... that.... that'll work. We're gonna have to... we need to...."

"Strip? Not unless you're comfortable. We could just kinda.... slip our hands.... you know."

"We could. Thing is... I wanna.... I think it's time we.."

"Yeah. Me too. Okay... so.... boy, this is...."

"I know. I'm not countin' to three. I'd feel like an idiot. Let's just...."

"Right. Just...."

Eventually, after much hesitation and a few false alarms, both men's boxers rested in a pile at the end of the bed.

"Bert.... I never thought.... holy.... you're.... how did you ever...."

"Bein' bombed made you really, really relaxed?"

"Musta been...."

"You... I mean... you're beautiful. Perfect...."

Though the words trembled, Darien's heart heard the love and sincerity behind them and he responded with a blossoming smile. Slowly, the two moved closer to each other and began to kiss tenderly, allowing the moment to develop naturally as it always had from their kisses. Tongues slipped past actively engaged lips and hands drifted over shoulders, chests and faces. Passion and need sped up both hearts, making it even more intense when their bodies brushed against one another for the first time without the barrier of cloth to dull the sensation.

"Uhhhh!"

"Ber-Bert.... ah, crap.... Y-you haven't even...."

"I know...."

"Please.... I want....."

Bobby knew what his husband wanted. It was the same thing his own body was screaming for and, despite hands that shook as if he had acute palsy, he slid one between their bodies and sought to fulfill Darien's need. When the warm, trembling fingers wrapped around his hard flesh, Darien felt tears slide down his cheeks. After taking a moment to savor Bobby's touch and find some small measure of control over his emotions, he reached out and stroked the other man as well.

"Mmmm... Ari, it's so good.... oh.... oh God.... no.... it's been too long.... I can't stop it.... I'm sorry.... I just.... can't...."

"I-I know... it's alright.... I can't... hold on either.... let it go, babe.... I love you so much....."

"Love you.... Ari!"

Breathing as if hyperventilation were only moments away, the two men clung to each other in the minutes following their mutual orgasm. As their bodies relaxed and their desire cooled, they found themselves sliding back into another kiss. This time it was slow and sweet, an expression of gratitude and love. When they finally parted, both tried to avoid awkward silence by speaking at the same time and ended up laughing.

"You go."

"No, it's okay... you."

"I just.... God, I love you."

"Ditto. Times a million."

"We gonna sleep this way?"

"I really wouldn't mind sticking to you for the rest of the night, but I guess we should clean up."

"Shower?"

Darien shook his head.

"I'm beat. Washcloth sponge-bath."

"Ain't that a cartoon? The one Bobbi's so crazy for."

Darien laughed until he thought his ribs would crack, but he eventually regained control enough to correct his husband.

"You mean "Sp-SpongeBob SquarePants....."

"Yeah, yeah. So I don't pay attention to the title. You gonna come wash up or not?"

"Right behind you, Patrick...."


End file.
